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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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While I’m there, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sipping my coffee, eavesdropping like it’s my job. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are hard.”

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